What’s that noise?

The hearing aid has continued with its erratic behaviour this week. My new best friend has turned against me. I have tried to identify some environmental constant in what sometimes sends it haywire at work, but to no avail. My newly hatched paranoia over whether anyone else can hear it is now causing me to exhibit a variety of bizarre behavioural tics. In a sensitive staff workshop the other day, a steadily increasing whining noise in the 1 KHz range caused everyone round the table to shoot puzzled glances at each other. My face steadily increased in hotness and redness along with the noise and I prayed for it to stop, but it just kept going. My secret was out, I had to come clean:

“It’s me, okay, IT’S ME. It’s my bloody hearing aid. Yes, HEARING AID. I’m leaving now, I feel a little unwell.”

Just as I was about to make my dramatic confession, my colleague got up and fiddled with the true source of the noise, a video camera which was recording the proceedings, forgotten, from the corner of the room. Boy, was I glad I’d kept my trap shut, it’s rare for there to be a camera running when you’re about to make a complete arse of yourself in public.

I do hope I get a follow-up audiology appointment soon…

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