My latest strange vocal phenomenon is, I hope, a secret between my ears and the hearing aid, especially since I’ve discovered that the forthcoming Pecha Kucha presentation is to be done with a microphone. The problem is this: every time I say a word with ‘sh’ in it (which is quite a lot), it sounds like I’ve got a comic set of badly-fitting false teeth. Since I’ve actually got a comic set of badly fitting real teeth, there’s always the worry that the hearing aid is restoring to me a sound which I haven’t previously been able to hear, rather than mischievously creating a new sound which doesn’t actually exist.

My long-suffering and tactful colleagues assure me that, contrary to what my ears are currently telling me, I don’t sound like John Hurt playing John Merrick in ‘The Elephant Man’, but if the Pecha Kucha audience runs screaming from the building on Thursday night when I take to the stage, I’ll know it’s finally time to make that long overdue dental appointment.

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