If I thought my day at work yesterday was bad, my facial twitch was about to get slightly worse. On the way home, as I rounded the corner to the street where I live, the flashing lights of police cars and a fire engine, plus a taped-off incident scene met my widening eyes. As I drew nearer, the incident scene turned out to be our address. At least there was no ambulance I said to myself.

“Do you live here?” said a very attractive fireman.

“Unfortunately, yes.” I replied, gazing into his eyes and trying to hide the hearing aid and the twitch, “What’s happened this time?”

I was remembering the terrible turkey giblets fire of Christmas 2007, where the downstairs neighbours had begun boiling up a pan of offal to make gravy and then forgotten about it and gone out for the day. Today I couldn’t smell the unforgettable odour of burning turkey gizzards, or the smell of burning anything else, so my mind ran riot. The latest murder perhaps? Or had the spouse gone berserk after falling over another one of my piles of handbag detritus in the hall and mounted a rooftop protest? Or another cow on the loose in the stairwell…no, don’t be silly couldn’t be that…I remembered I was in Glasgow not the Isle of Bute.

“The front stairs have collapsed and fractured the gas main” said the fireman, “you’ll need to go in round the back.”

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to go in at all if the whole building might explode at any minute, but the fireman assured me that the gas was now safely off. Unfortunately the central heating, the cooker and the hot water are safely off too, so it’s going to be a long week…


3 Responses to “999”

  1. 1 not quite like beethoven May 13, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Well, at least it’s supposed to be about 14 degrees this weekend. Hope you have friends to visit if it’s getting too umcomfortable. By the way, thanks for the congratulations!

  2. 2 kentigern May 14, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    Bad Karma, you really shouldn’t “diss” daleks you know. Phone you soon.

    serious question do you have a digital version of my This is Your Life handbook?

  3. 3 Deirdre May 14, 2010 at 7:50 pm


    7 years oh my god, if I’d known I would have got knitting!! Fond memories of that day.

    Glad the hearing aid is much better.

    Not so good about the gas. It is supposed to be warmer this weekend. Hope all heating and cooker etc is on back on soon or you will be sick of salad!

    Went to Hairspray last weekend and took mum. Michael Ball was absolutely fab!!! Mum loved it and so did David. We laughed lots and lots which was a treat.

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