Voulez-vous vuvuzela?

The spouse had his long-awaited vuvuzela delivery last week. He cycled eagerly to the post office to pick it up and was soon back in the kitchen ripping open the packaging, while his latest pot of home-made soup came to the boil. The packaging, which consisted of a sheet of black plastic, turned out to be worth more than the contents, which are extruded from a sheet of green plastic.

“I can’t believe I paid £9.99 for that”, said the spouse sadly, as he lovingly coaxed the mouthpiece end back in to shape where it had been dented by the sophisticated piece of post office equipment that smashes up parcels in the post.

“I can’t believe you paid £9.99 for that either,” I replied, remembering one of his previous internet purchase disasters, the £30 eBay pair of ‘Oakley’ lookalike sunglasses. At least today’s purchase was £20 cheaper.

“Never mind,” I said, “let’s see what it sounds like.”

Funnily enough, it sounds like a very loud shipping siren, so the spouse is now getting his money’s worth by using it as a handy means to summon me to the kitchen at mealtimes.

I do feel the big green trumpet is going to get us into trouble, though. On Friday night, there was an Orange Walk parade past our house, with several hundred flutes and big drums in attendance. As we all know, the hearing aid doesn’t like flutes and whistling, so I innocently said to the spouse, “give them a wee blast on the vuvuzela”. From a concealed position beneath the open window he wholeheartedly obliged, but I rather regretted it when an army of heads turned left simultaneously, and the policemen in attendance got their radios out, whilst pointing vigorously to where I was standing.

As the instigators of one almighty racket searched in vain for the source of another, I decided that from now on, the vuvuzela is firmly banned, except at mealtimes.

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5 Responses to “Voulez-vous vuvuzela?”


  1. 1 not quite like beethoven July 4, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Behold — the classical vuvuzela.

    It’s musicians from a Berlin orchestra demonstrating the technique and then playing Brahms and Ravel.

  2. 2 not quite like beethoven July 4, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    Here it is with subtitles in English.


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