Let the train take the strain

The spouse and I were waiting for the 07:35 train from West Kilsheughie to Glasgow the other morning when the announcement came that the train was running five minutes late due to animals on the line.

Maybe another circus van has crashed in Saltcoats, I thought to myself, but the rural setting made an invasion of cows or sheep much more likely. The announcement was repeated at five minute intervals, until half an hour later, the lost train finally appeared. The spouse was now in danger of missing his ten o’clock doctor’s appointment, but at least the marauding animals were out of the way now.

Once on board the train, we settled down to watch the scenery go by. A young boiler-suited chap in the next seat had just begun noisily consuming a hearty breakfast of cheese and onion crisps washed down with Irn Bru, when an announcement came over the intercom:

“Mwah mwaaah mw mwah mwaaaah, mw mwah mw mwmwaah.”

“Eh?” I said.

“There’s a cow on the line at Ardrossan. We’ve got to go slowly” replied the spouse through gritted teeth.

I wondered why they couldn’t just shoot the blighter or blast it with a vuvuzela or something, but it seemed that the lone bovine trespasser was one step ahead of Scotrail and was hiding in the bushes at the side of the track. I imagined a kind of Dick Turpin with hooves and hoped it wasn’t armed.

It wasn’t, and once the train got moving again, the spouse eventually made it to the doctor’s with two minutes to spare.

3 Responses to “Let the train take the strain”

  1. 1 kentigern July 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Cooo – eee cant do a three toons accent!!!!!

  2. 2 moiradancer July 13, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    Kentigern! I thought you’d baled out. I knew the mention of Saltcoats could bring you back! I’ll give you a bell for a catchup

    • 3 kentigern July 14, 2010 at 1:18 pm

      Cant spell bail :-)))) either ma belle soeur. Fletcher Bale me out on this Bounty.?

      Are you to WK this weekend for Gavvinnes key of the door stuffy?

      madman loose in Paisley shawl

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