My, what a lovely long leg you’ve got

Yesterday’s public fall on the stairs was followed up today at the hairdresser’s, with an embarrassing trip over the leg of a chair as I made my way to the sink. Whether everyone’s heads were turning at the clatter of chair impacting on ceramic, or the loudness of my voice after hastily removing the hearing aid 60 seconds earlier, was difficult to tell.

“OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED THERE?” I bellowed “I HOPE I HAVEN’T BROKEN IT”

Several coiffured heads turned in unison.

“… shit, I’m shouting, sorry…I’m a wee bit, er…er…clumsy.”

Once the sink had been re-aligned on its pedestal and the shampoo bottles righted, I leant back and allowed my thoughts to wander to my long awaited podiatry appointment earlier in the morning. There had been the startling revelation that the bunion is the least of my biomechanical problems, as one leg appears to be longer than the other. Crikey. Like the malfunctioning ears, that’s something else I’ve not noticed before…then I thought of all the shoddy pairs of trousers I’ve taken back to M&S over the years because the legs were different lengths. Aha!

As the shampooist started on a nice relaxing head massage, I reflected that it must be that pesky longer leg which keeps tripping me up in public places.

Hope it’s not still growing…

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