10 Years Younger

On my way to the shops today, I was shuffling along behind two old ladies who were deep in conversation and walking so slowly that time lapse photography would be required to show any significant movement. It was on one of those extremely narrow bits of pavement which are made even more annoying by a set of railings at the kerb, put there by the council to prevent pedestrians leaping indiscriminately on to the road in front of traffic. Unfortunately they have the opposite effect and many impatient Glaswegian youths have come a cropper in front of a speeding bus as they do a spot of city centre hurdling. For me, with the long leg, hurdling is out as an overtaking manoeuvre, so I had to resort to doing a bit of gentle coughing to advertise my presence instead. Old lady number one eventually turned round.

“Haw Betty,” she said to her companion in the gravelly Glaswegian tones of a 60 a day smoker, “move yer arse oot the way an’ let that lassie get past.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Lassie? I haven’t been a lassie for a good 20 years. I don’t know what the official cut-off age for being a lassie is, but it’s safe to say that I exceeded it a long time ago.

I overtook them with a cheery smile and a spring in my orthotically aided step, delighted that the diamond on the hearing aid is clearly taking years off me.

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1 Response to “10 Years Younger”


  1. 1 not quite like beethoven August 25, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    A most welcome side effect, indeed. 🙂


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