Front Row

I attended a staff consultation event in the world famous lecture theatre of the Institute of Artistic Endeavour yesterday, and took up my usual lone position in the empty front rows, while everyone else crammed into the back seats. As PowerPoint warmed up, late entrants creaked down the hallowed wooden stairs, surveyed the empty rows at the front, then squeezed themselves uncomfortably onto the ends of the back rows.

After being given a brief outline of the afternoon’s proceedings, I was despatched to a breakout session in the Boardroom. In order to cover up my ineptitude at group discussions, I enthusiastically volunteered as one of the notetakers, a task which I planned to do from the comfort of my seat at the table, using several sheets of A4 paper and a rollerball pen. Unfortunately, the first notetaker spotted a huge flipchart in the corner and, having fully functional hearing, was keen to get on with squeaking away with a big marker pen, with his back to the room. Oh shit, I thought. The intricacies of the Learning and Teaching Strategy discussion drifted away from my consciousness as I blanched at the thought of how I was going to casually wrestle the flipchart into a suitable forward-facing position in the limited space when it was my turn. It was impossible. Aaaagh. I panicked as I realised I was about to be scrutinised from behind, as I wrote down a whole series of Cookie Bite Mondegreens, in huge capital letters for all to see.

Horribly prematurely, it seemed, the first notetaker finished, and I now had three options. 1. fake a heart attack, 2. take my place at the Flipchart of Doom and have a real heart attack, or 3. remain true to my intentions, appear lazy and write where I sat. I sensibly opted for the latter. Little did I know, all of that was the easy part…


6 Responses to “Front Row”

  1. 1 not quite like beethoven October 15, 2010 at 7:31 am

    What?! How!? You can’t leave me here like that! I need to know what’s happening next..!


    • 2 moiradancer October 15, 2010 at 3:25 pm

      Lovely to hear from you NQLB, as always. I never dreamt that I could have created such suspense from a flipchart, I hope the next instalment won’t be too much of an anti-climax…

  2. 3 deirdre nelson October 15, 2010 at 9:47 am

    loving your blog as always! xd

  3. 5 kentigern October 15, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Hello again sis, my daughter has a putative commission for you, you’ll so love not!!!! oh and nae money!!!!!!

    Luv big bruv.

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