These Boots Weren’t Made For Walking

A normally extremely busy Victoria Road junction in the snow

Snow and freezing weather conditions have brought travel chaos to the central belt of Scotland this week. Before leaving the house this morning, I eagerly scoured my work email in the hope of finding a notice saying that the Institute of Artistic Endeavour was shut due to the lack of public transport and the 4 inches of bone shattering ice on all the ungritted pavements. Sadly I was to be disappointed.

Realising that I would have to walk for over an hour in -8ºC temperatures, I decided to wheel out the big guns of my footwear selection, the heavy duty mountain climbing boots that I haven’t worn since I bought them back in 1994. I enthusiastically blew the dust off the pristine leather and carefully emptied out 16 years’ worth of dead spiders, and a couple of live ones.

“Can’t believe I’ve never thought of wearing these before,” I said smugly to the spouse, as I imagined all the envious stares I would get from the people who had beaten me to the last of the wellies in the shops and were now slithering around on sheet ice with dry, but frozen, feet.

Within seconds of putting my long-lost boots on, however, I was reminded of exactly why I’d never worn them. The painful similarity to wearing a pair of badly carved wooden boots with soles made out of lead forced me to don my regular footwear instead, and slide dangerously, but comfortably, for two and a half miles in to work.

In the sunshine, everything looked very pretty indeed, and the frequent stops to hang on to railings, passing strangers, etc, allowed me to fully take in the snowy views of an unprecedentedly wintery Glasgow.


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