Tempting Fate

Life is full of little excitements these days. My fabulous new glasses with their horribly expensive, but well worth the price, High Index glass lenses have arrived.

“Are you sure you don’t want to pay the £25 extra to have them insured?” said the optician, as she fiddled with the legs a bit, “those ultra thin glass lenses are very fragile, it just takes one slip when you’re putting them down… or a stray bit of dust scratches the coating, or you fall asleep in them and knacker the frames…”

“Nah,” I said with uncharacteristic gay abandon, despite the falling asleep part touching a raw nerve. “I feel lucky today, and I’ve not broken a pair of glasses in 25 years. As long as I don’t slip on the ice on the way back to the office and fall on them I’ll be fine, HA HA HA!”

I laughed rather excessively loudly in an improvised verbal equivalent of touching wood for luck, since everything in the vicinity was made of formica.

“Try them on for a second,” said the optician so that she could assess the results of her fiddling.

Blinded whilst trying them on because I had my contact lenses in, I did my own bit of noisy fiddling to make sure that everything was compatible behind the ear, before peering over the top of the glasses to admire my fetching choice in the mirror. It was now time to pay.

“So that’s a balance of £204 to pay, £408 in total”, said the optician, who was now speaking in a series of slightly exaggerated mouth movements after getting a glimpse of beige.

Hmmm, I thought, hesitating, maybe I should pay that £25 insurance just in case? After all, it’ll be just my luck if the one time I throw caution to the wind…

“So that’s a balance of £204 to pay…” repeated the optician in a slightly louder voice, before  the lightning quick insertion of my bank card into the card machine to indicate that I had actually heard, interrupted her.

“Are you sure you don’t want that insur….”

“Yes.” I said in another lightning response, keen to avoid any further misleading delays in my replies.


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