Crash Bang Wallop

Sound localisation, the ability to determine where a sound is coming from, is very important in a number of situations. It stops you from being run over when crossing the road, it allows you to locate the source of a question in a crowded room without making yourself dizzy, and even more importantly, it allows you to get your head out of the way when a strange noise turns out to be your three-tier letter tray sliding frictionlessly off the formica shelf above your desk, after a door slams.

The sobering effect of a metal tray hitting the back of the head made me appreciate that my sound localisation faculties are not quite what they once were, and I cleared the shelves of other heavy objects as a precaution. This turned out to be very wise, and when the Attendance folder tumbled noisily from its perch after a particularly loud series of door slams a couple of days later, I was ready for it.

2 Responses to “Crash Bang Wallop”

  1. 1 maureen December 4, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Hi Moira,

    This sounds a painful experience! I myself had some recent difficulty finding out where a series of beeping noises were emitting from intermittently. Was it the burglar alarm? The smoke detector? No, it turned out to be the small carbon monoxide detector, tucked out of my line of vision atop the fridge freezer. With a lot of difficulty, and the aid of the portable video magnifier, I worked out that the intermittent beeps indicated cell death of the apparatus, not the detection of a dangerous gas. After reclosing all the windows and doors, which had been flung open as a sensible precaution, I managed to phone the helpline, whose details were tinily printed on the said detector. As the arctic air continued to swirl around me, I was greatly relieved to hear the product was still under warranty, and that it could be repaired. I’ve posted it off, and am not too concerned about not having the detector in the interim, as the current icy winds and rain in Glasgow serve to prove that my old windows are not airtight! I believe that snow is on the way later today, which always makes the place look suitably seasonal and picturesque.

    I hope that the wedding goes/went well. I always think that a winter wedding is pretty, and snowfall can look gorgeous in the photographs.

    Best wishes,


    • 2 moiradancer December 6, 2011 at 10:41 am

      Hi Maureen, it’s a well known fact that carbon monoxide detectors only send out a false alarm when the temperature outside drops below 1º C and your house is nicely warmed up 🙂 My mother’s CO alarm had been bleeping for about two weeks before she finally realised what it was, making me think that it was going to be of very limited use for saving her life in an emergency! Especially when her eventual response to the spent battery bleep was to wrap the thing in a tea towel and put it in the back of a cupboard…

      The wedding was lovely and fortunately the snow didn’t start until we were safely on the way home, and waiting for the inevitable Sunday night rail replacement bus service from Paisley Gilmour Street station. The snowflakes were enormous, like big white feathers, and even the M8 looked pretty once it was covered!

      Hope all is well with your eye and that you’ve thawed out!

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