911 on the M8

Curtains twitched yesterday evening as the residents of Queen’s Park strained to see what type of emergency vehicle with flashing lights had arrived outside Cookie Bite HQ this time. Unfortunately, our neighbours’ hopes that it would be The Glasgow City Council Piano Confiscation Unit were about to be dashed.

Out in the street, a man was holding the handbag of a dishevelled woman as she emerged, backside first, from her unorthodox mode of transport.

“It’s nice to be back home, isn’t it Hun”, I said to the spouse, as I tried and failed to find a dignified way of climbing down the ladder from the cab of the 911 Emergency Recovery Vehicle which was now blocking the street. It had picked us up, frozen and bickering, from a thorn covered verge at the side of the M8 motorway, after the car had ground to a halt unexpectedly in an inconveniently unidentifiable location somewhere on the way back from Bute.

The AA mechanic called to the scene may have wondered why the driver of the car he was recovering kept saying irately “I TOLD you it was making a funny noise” to the the woman with the hearing aids, but he said nothing and quietly went about his business, no doubt having seen it all many times before.

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2 Responses to “911 on the M8”


  1. 1 babs scott April 7, 2012 at 8:25 am

    Aaah! Cars making funny noises. Mine was doing that too a few months ago, Kenny was going on and on about this ticking noise which I couldn’t hear at all. When I eventually did begin to hear it, as it was now within audible range for my cookie bite ears, I decided to investigate. Turns out there was almost no oil in the engine!! It had reached dangerously low levels with nary a flashing light on the dashboard. The garage had previously informed me, anyway; that if the light does come on then it’s too late. Luckily I had caught it in time, which reminds me I must check the oil levels again…. Hope you and the car have recovered from your ordeal. How’s the experiment in feedback going? Have the hearing aids decided to behave or are you awaiting a further appointment at Clinic O?

    B xx

    • 2 moiradancer April 7, 2012 at 10:32 pm

      Sounds like you had a lucky escape there Babs! Thank god I can’t drive, just being a passenger is dangerous enough. Ever since a set of loose brakes jammed the front wheel of my bicyclette, followed by one of the pedal cranks falling off five minutes later, my motto has been ‘If you hear a funny noise coming from anything mechanical, stop immediately before it kills you.’ It’s a maxim that works very well, as long as you can actually hear the funny noise in the first place although, fortunately, I usually can because most mechanical things seem to make screechy, ticky clicky type noises when malfunctioning, or at least the overtones do!

      The temporarily re-set Chroma Ss are currently behaving, apart from a shlight touch of the Sean Connerys any time I shay anything that requires the teeth touchshing. She shells shea shells on the shea shore, that short of thing. It’sh quite amushing, really, but nobody elsh getsh the benefit of the joke, which is shlightly dishappointing. I’m going back at the end of the month to be re-acquainted with the Danalogics to see if they can be de-hissed, which is very good of them since I’m way down the priority list, so we’ll see what happens. I’d be delighted if they can get them to work, but mild cookie bite and hearing aids don’t seem to go too well together…


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