The Look of Love…and Hearing Loss

At the pub last night, the spouse ordered a bottle of cava in the hope that they would make the same mistake as they had last week, and serve us up a £45 bottle of champagne by accident. They didn’t, but the glamorous woman sitting in a group next to us was impressed with the extravagance of cava nonetheless. After a while, she caught the spouse’s attention.

“Excuse me, what are you celebrating?” she asked, emboldened by her own large glass of Pinot Grigio.

“Reaching the end of the week alive”, said the spouse cheerfully, before adding that it was our wedding anniversary in a week or two, in order to appear a little less cynical.

“How long have you been married?” she asked.

“Oh god, erm, it’s been about nine years…yes, nine years”, said the spouse, as the shocking realisation dawned.

“NINE YEARS?” shrieked the glamorous woman, in surprise.

I braced myself for what might come next, in case it was “What…to HER?” but my fears were unfounded.

“That’s SOOOOOOOOO sweet”, she crooned. “You both look so in love, I thought you’d just got together. You’ve been staring into each other’s eyes all evening.”

Each other’s lips, perhaps…

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