Ear Ache

“Aaaaaagh!” winced the spouse in a grimace of pain, as we supped coffee in bed this morning. I immediately broke off from my soliloquy on world affairs, to tend to my beloved’s distress.

“What is it? What’s the matter?” I gasped.

“YOU’RE SPEAKING SO LOUD!” said the spouse loudly, in a doomed attempt to demonstrate the problem. “I can’t stand it this early in the morning. You’re talking over the news and everything! It’s hurting my ears! You always shout first thing in the morning.”

I glanced briefly at the hearing aids on the bedside table, then at the mouthing breakfast tv news presenter performing sotto voce at the end of the bed. I noted another rain symbol appearing over the central Scotland weather map.

“It must be awful to have such delicate ears,” I replied in a much quieter voice, with just a little hint of sarcasm.

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