The best hearing aid for Cookie Bite Hearing Loss?

hard hat and gloves

Happy New Year one and all.

The countdown to the exciting opening of the shiny new building at the Institute of Artistic Endeavour has entered its final frenetic stage before the students are let in on Monday. As I scuttled about my academic business attired in full safety PPE for the final time on site yesterday, I was rather puzzled by the assertive attention I was getting from the many workmen I encountered. Maybe there’s just something irresistible about a large breasted woman in a red hard hat and black rubber gloves, I pondered, as the comments came in thick and fast.

“DON’T GO UP THEY STAIRS, AH’VE JIST PIT CONCRETE SEALER OAN THEM!” yelled one man, the very second I exited the office.

“MIND OOT FUR MA EXTENDING LADDER, DOLL, AH’M RIGHT BEHIND YE!” shouted another, a little further along the corridor.

“WHIT FLOOR ARE YE GAUN TAE, HEN?” boomed the helpful hard-hatted man who followed me into the lift.

Just when I thought I might be in line for my first wolf-whistle on a building site in 30 years, a panting man with a paintbrush rushed alongside me in a corridor and burst my bubble.

“Why huv ye goat YOU’LL NEED TO SHOUT written on the back o yer jaicket anyway?” he asked, pointing to the back of my hi-vis vest. I suddenly remembered what I was wearing, and felt a bit of a twit. I was very glad I hadn’t written KICK ME instead.

Amazingly, though, when my £1.50 artistic statement vest is stripped of its rhetorical irony by a bunch of builders, it actually outperforms expensive hearing aids in an open plan space…and, unlike hearing aids, is particularly effective with men’s voices.

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