Posts Tagged 'punctuality'

Punctuality is for Losers

My strange phobia of being late means that I am often the first to arrive at meetings at the Institute of Artistic Endeavour. This can create an unfortunate false impression of keenness in the face of the dullest of administrative matters. Especially when making matters worse by sitting at the front with my eyes open at all times.

Today’s keenness, however, was genuine. I was eager to attend a creative writing workshop for staff and students, hosted by the newly appointed writer in residence, a famous author. The workshop was scheduled to start at 3:30. I arrived at exactly 3:27, just in case there were any free buns to be had, but this turned out to be so early that the door to the room wasn’t even open. Oh well, I thought, at least I can get a good seat, and I eagerly barged my way into the empty room. Once inside, I was rather confused to find my empty room filled with a group of strangers seated reverently round a large table covered in books and papers, and I paused momentarily as my eyes scanned the scene with great urgency in an attempt to work out what the heck was going on.

Empty room. Full room. Early. Late. Big group of art students. Silence. A table with no legs missing in an art school. Nothing made sense in the split second it took for my brain to catch up with my eyes. When it eventually did, the sight of the famous author at the head of the table confirmed that I was, in fact, in the right place after all, but rather late. Late! Oh no.  I made a desperate lunge towards the empty seat nearest the door, letting out a very squeaky and unintentionally loud “Hi everybody” as I did so. Strangely there was no reply.

Puzzled at the church-like atmosphere, I settled myself into my seat and tried to act nonchalantly, as if I was late for things all the time. It felt quite good, until my fantasy was interrupted by the rustle of paper and the faint sound of some occasional consonants from the other end of the table. To my horror, it was coming from the Type 5 Inaudible student, who had been reading her carefully prepared passage to the group, until the strange woman with the squeaky voice came in and talked over her.


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