“This is all your fault!” I shouted at the spouse on the station steps, “If you hadn’t decided to get the same train as me this morning, I wouldn’t have forgotten to put my hearing aids in!
The spouse took a deep breath. Now was not the time for him to question the logic of this last statement.
“…Today of all days,” I ranted on, “I can’t be late for the assessments… and I need to hear what’s being said!”
“Do you want to go back and get them?” interjected the spouse rather sensibly. “We can just get a taxi into work instead.”
I hesitated slightly at the attractiveness of this proposition, but decided to take a more hormonally irrational approach.
“No.” I said, “I’ve managed to get by without the damn things for forty-odd years, and I bloody hate taxis.” A vibration on the metal steps underfoot spurred me into action. “Hurry up!” I snapped, “we need to get tickets, I can hear the train coming…”
The spouse rolled his eyes as he watched a dustbin lorry rumble past. It didn’t sound anything like a train to him.
Half an hour later, as everyone gathered with their clipboards in the studio at work, my heart sank as I realised I couldn’t make out the pre-assessment chit-chat. I felt a pang of remorse and wished I’d listened to the spouse on the station steps instead of shouting at him. Why hadn’t I just gone back to get the bloody aids when I had the chance? What an idiot. This was going to be a very long day.
Just as the assessment proceedings were finally about to get underway, the studio door opened and the spouse appeared. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be hanging an exhibition in another building…I was confused. Heads turned as he strode in and handed me a tiny plastic snack box. I couldn’t believe it. This was either the smallest packed lunch of all time, or…
“My hearing aids!” I exclaimed, as I noisily snapped the box open in front of my curious colleagues, “Thanks Hun!”
Unbeknownst to me, the spouse had waved me off at the entrance to work and gone all the way back home to fetch my ear gear. Even after being shouted at.
If I hadn’t already married him, dear readers, I’d have decided to marry him on the spot.