Kookybite Innovation #11

I have noticed a disturbing phenomenon recently. At noisy social events, when people try to speak directly into my ear in the mistaken belief that I will hear them better, I instinctively turn my head to get a view of their lips instead of staring blankly into space like everyone else. This makes the speaker very uncomfortable both in terms of the unexpected eye contact at such close range, and the loss of proximity of the ear in relation to their mouth. It makes me very uncomfortable because my neck is now twisted painfully.

In response to my head twisting to see their lips, they then turn to follow the ear, I twist further to see their lips, they turn further to follow the ear…you get the drift. To the outside observer, it must give the impression of a slow motion version of an Exorcist-style 720º head rotation, or some sort of bizarre mating ritual. Help is at hand, however, and the Kookybite Aidcam is designed to prevent all that.

I am also working on a low-tech version, which is simply a hearing aid sticker that says “TALK TO THE FACE”

 

Update 7th May 2015: Well I never, ahead of my time yet again, check this out. Look me in the ear and tell me it’s for real…

More from the team involved here…

O ye of little faith, enter here  Update Jan 2018: Don’t bother, AOHL have deleted the link.

A Bad Lipreading Of The First 2012 Presidential Debate

 

Political debate can be engaging after all. Crank the volume up, turn the subtitles on and enjoy.

via The Limping Chicken

The Look of Love…and Hearing Loss

At the pub last night, the spouse ordered a bottle of cava in the hope that they would make the same mistake as they had last week, and serve us up a £45 bottle of champagne by accident. They didn’t, but the glamorous woman sitting in a group next to us was impressed with the extravagance of cava nonetheless. After a while, she caught the spouse’s attention.

“Excuse me, what are you celebrating?” she asked, emboldened by her own large glass of Pinot Grigio.

“Reaching the end of the week alive”, said the spouse cheerfully, before adding that it was our wedding anniversary in a week or two, in order to appear a little less cynical.

“How long have you been married?” she asked.

“Oh god, erm, it’s been about nine years…yes, nine years”, said the spouse, as the shocking realisation dawned.

“NINE YEARS?” shrieked the glamorous woman, in surprise.

I braced myself for what might come next, in case it was “What…to HER?” but my fears were unfounded.

“That’s SOOOOOOOOO sweet”, she crooned. “You both look so in love, I thought you’d just got together. You’ve been staring into each other’s eyes all evening.”

Each other’s lips, perhaps…